Know that this is a year where the possibility is strong for learning a new approach to reconciling with your unknown.  Know that endings are always about coming face to face with the unknown.  Also know that as a rule humans don’t like the unknown and will allow an inflexible sense of self (ego) to dominate their reactions to life’s events.  Reacting to the unknown through fear keeps you stuck.

But, if you can allow yourself just a moment before you react, you will find the opportunity to choose your action in response to the unknown instead of blindly reacting through fear.

In this moment, you may also allow yourself the opportunity to look inside yourself and ask about your fear of the unknown.  With conscious action, you can shift this habit and allow more supportive actions when the unknown makes itself present.  Curiosity, anticipation, growing confidence, willingness to witness — all are supportive choices which will greatly affect your experience of and action within the unknown.  They are supportive because they provide you with a different experience of the unknown; they allow you to think of yourself and the world around you in a different way.  Blind reaction doesn’t change anything.  Conscious choice allows the gifts of the unknown to make their way to you, reinforcing a different response both to that which you don’t know and to fear itself.

You can change your habit of the unknown.  Make this the moment that you will allow yourself the opportunity to approach differently.  Let fear be.  Let yourself respond in choice.  Let the unknown appear before you in a new light.

Ask yourself:

• Do I want to live my life in fear?
• What stands in the way of releasing my fear of the unknown?

Consider these Affirmations:

• I no longer allow fear to rule my life.
• I allow myself to consciously choose my path.
• I am learning to receive the gifts of the unknown in joy and in curious anticipation.

We think of the unknown as chaotic, dark, maybe even malevolent.  I know that in my life, I’d rather have a clear idea of where I am going than to feel unsure of where I am stepping and what I can expect.  It’s sometime a constant battle for me to not be overwhelmed by the pending shadow of my unknown.  Yet, I also know that I do not like living in fear.  I don’t like feeling scared into doing something, anything.  I have gotten so much better about not letting myself be overwhelmed by anxiety.  I am a lot better at noticing sooner than later the driving nature of fear around me and in me.

Back in October, I started having an increasing number of surging awarenesses (I call them epiphanettes!) about what I needed to accomplish next in my life.  (I have always had this going on, the difference in October was the increasing volume.)  My heart was overflowing (and still is) with ideas and realizations and new understandings about a whole range of things in my life  –  from how to organize myself to new knowings about topics in and around the Akashic Records.

Among other epiphanettes, I realized that the time had come for me to commit to the full vision of my work.  I have always been aware that I live very close to the edge of the known and the unknown, that I thrive at this edge, and that it is a place that not many are comfortable with.  But I realized that I had come to the point where my health and well-being depended upon my full commitment to all of me and all of what I envision for myself and my life and the people around me.  To hold back was to hold the circle too small for any growth to happen for me or for my students, family and friends.  To hold back one more second was moving from yesterday’s old truth to stand in today’s new dishonesty.

It’s exciting to claim vision.  But the day-after feeling is full-on fear.  Can I trust myself?  Can I trust that others will show up?  Can I hold it together?  Will I implode because in my vanity, or humility, I have overlooked something (i.e., in my humanity will I be less than the perfection I demand of myself?)?  Can I keep my promises?  What horrible thing happens when I fail?  Because, of course, the fear is very clear that I will fail.  Holy Moly!!  Is this really what I signed up for?!!

The way I deal with my fear is to ask myself, “What’s the worst thing that can happen?”  Then I think about what I will do if the worst happens.  And then I commit to my vision.  Because I have made my fear present, I have figured out a way around, and because I will not let myself be controlled by fear, I commit to my vision.  I commit to what I want to do.  I commit to what I want to bring to life.  I commit to myself.  The commitment doesn’t get rid of the fear.  But the commitment helps me move truthfully in the direction of my heart’s understanding of who I am and who I want to become.

So as you read the rest of this newsletter and all the various announcements about the new programs I am offering this year, know that what I am doing is committing to all of me.  That I am trying not to hold back anything of me.  But also know that I have no idea how everything will work out.  I trust that what needs to be for me and for all of you will become over the next couple of months.  I am working on allowing curious anticipation rather than rigid fear of failure.  I am working on feeling the joy of allowing myself to create the space for my vision to become whatever it becomes.

I invite you to join me however you can.  Take the next step in your life whatever that may be.  Know that I am a fellow traveler available to you simply by asking.  Take the next step in your journey in the Akashic Records whatever that may be.  Know that I am here, fully committed to holding space for your journey.  May your path be full of support, may your heart overflow with joy, and may your vision rise to meet you, showing you the way.

In Joy!
Cheryl

Reading Week and Online Scheduling
Here’s the schedule for 2012 (subject to change as may arise):

• January 16 – 21
• February 6 – 11
• March 29 – 30
• April 9 – 14
• May 7 – 12
• June 11 – 16
• July 16 – 21
• August 6 – 11
• September 18 – 22
• October 15 – 20
• November 12 – 17
• December 10 – 15

I offer Akashic Record Readings and LifeVision Maps during Reading Week, as well as Directed Study and Investigation for Sage Path students.  I have just recently organized an online scheduling system on my website.  From the comfort of your home, late at night, early in the morning, or in between, you now have the opportunity to schedule the day and time that works for you without the back and forth of email.  Remember, though, that if Reading Week doesn’t work with your schedule, then let me know your availability and I’ll see what we can work out for you.  To make an appointment visit this page:   http://www.trine.com/akashic-records-appointment/

Many Paths, One Mountain: Spiritual Journey, Spiritual Practice in the Akashic Records
Finally, I have finished the manuscript for my second book!  If you heard a yell of triumph about the middle of December that was me!  What started as a workshop over ten years ago then moved to six strands that I cut from my first book has now transformed into its own 175-page offering.  The early review from my beta-readers says that the book is very accessible, practical, and empowering.  From my point of view, I offer the five steps of the spiritual journey to the spiritual seeker with practical suggestions, affirmations, and work for yourself both within your heart and within your Akashic Records.  Now begins the process of publishing.  Maybe by June?

Completion on one front now opens the time for beginning on another.  My next (third) book is already taking form in my mind and on paper.  This next offering will be about claiming your eternal scribe.  Stay tuned for details.

Workshops
I am offering three brand new workshops this year!!  Three!!  (Remember what I said about commitment earlier?!).  Plus, offerings for both Sage Path Level 1 and Level 2.  Here’s a short bit of information about each and then a table to help you keep everything straight.

Sage Path 1: Opening Your Own Akashic Records
One-on-One:  Available whenever you are ready!
Group Format:  Saturday, February 11, 9am-5pm — by teleconference with several follow-up meetings
Visit this page for more information:  http://www.trine.com/sagepath/

Sage Path 1 Refresher
One-on-One: Available whenever you are ready!
Life happens and sometimes you feel like you have lost your connection to your Akashic Records.  This is not unusual and there is an easy solution:  call me!!  We can talk about what’s not working and I will let you know how I can help in your situation.  Usually an hour’s meeting with a 30-minute follow-up or two gets you back on track.

Sage Path 2:  Opening the Akashic Records for Others
Group In-Person: April 20-22, Portland, Oregon
Group Teleconference:  Dates beginning in April
Visit this page for more information:  http://www.trine.com/sagepath/opening-the-akashic-records-for-other/

Sage Path Intensive:
This offering is Sage Path Level 1 and 2 combined with individual Directed Study with me
Visit this page for more information:  http://www.trine.com/sagepath/

Sage Path Level 3

Akashic Records Journey to Chaco Canyon
May 16-21, New Mexico
I have had a dream for a long time about traveling to a special place with a group of Akashic Record Readers and experiencing the location through the energy of the Akashic Records.  Chaco Canyon is very special and I am beyond ecstatic that this will be our first journey.  I invite you to join me on a vision quest in Ancient Lines, Star Connections.
Visit this page for more information:  http://www.trine.com/akashicrecordsjourney/

Cycles of Life and Death
April through September
This is a virtual workshop that will happen mostly through partner practice over a six month period.  Creation is a cycle that we experience as beginnings and ends.  In this workshop we are going to look at this cycle and understand the flow of its energy in our lives.
Visit this page for more information:  http://www.trine.com/sagepath/cycles/

Healing with the Akashic Records Matrix
September 12-16, Oregon Coast
One topic that I probably will not write a book about for a while is healing within the Akashic Records.  First, one of the biggest areas of growth for me right now is a profound shift in understanding the possibilities of healing balance.  This understanding can really only be demonstrated in-person and the ability to do the work is for advanced students only.  Additionally, it is my intention to make this an annual offering in which we as a group learn and investigate this topic.  In September, we will be learning about the Matrix and we will be looking at releasing trauma.  That is why I would prefer that those participating in Healing Matrix have the work in Cycles of Life and Death.  Trauma is a frozen moment in the cycle, releasing trauma requires understanding of the energetics of the cycle.
Visit this page for more information:  http://www.trine.com/healing-with-the-akashic-records-matrix/

The bottom line:  If you are interested in any of these workshops, let me know.  If you are just beginning on the Sage Path and are interested in the Sage Path 3 workshops, let me know and we can talk about the feasibility of accelerated study for you.

In late September, my daughter and I were in a car accident.  The car was totaled; we walked away feeling pretty battered and, thankfully with some awesome healing attention, we will get fully back on track with in the next couple of months.  As I stood there looking at our ruined car, I kept having the words to an old Elton John song run through my head.  Someone saved my life tonight – thank you dear!

When I scurry through all the woulda-coulda-shouldas, events coulda been much, much worse.  What I know for certain is this:  the quick thinking of my driver daughter saved me from a world of hurt.  She is definitely the one I thank!  And as we stood there taking in the wreck, she said to me, “Mom, deep breath.  Now let go of whatever does not serve you.”  (Isn’t it amazing when your kids reflect your words back at you just at the right moment!)

This event is why I didn’t send out my weekly newsletter last week.  I already had it half written in my head but I’ve decided to save it for next week.  Instead, what’s been on my mind since that evening is this question:  What keeps me from doing what I want to do?

It’s actually something that has been rolling around for some time, years in fact.  Especially as a whole pile of stuff I promised myself I would get done last week was still languishing as I filled my day with insurance adjustor calls and filing DMV reports.

I think we all get that life shows up with the unexpected usually when it is the least expected.  How we act, react, and create within this unexpected is always interesting.  And probably very insightful into the deeper, perhaps more truthful, parts of our hearts and minds.  I had to really struggle to let myself rest, let myself choose to let go of what didn’t serve me in the moment.  I was pushed by the sense that somehow I owed it to myself to keep my commitments to myself even in the face of the unexpected.

No, I decided, what I owe myself is to respond to the call of my heart, to the truth of this moment.  Resting on the couch, allowing the pain and anger to rise and move on — that’s what I felt was truth.  When I let go of my expectations on myself for perfect action always, I found that I could relax a bit and allow my body to be guided by its own inner wisdom toward shift and balance.  Yes, I have broken commitments made before the unexpected that I have and will attend to.  And yes, my week did not go anywhere as planned.  But isn’t that both the joy and the challenge of life, figuring out how to deal with the unexpected?

Which is why I think that this question came up:  What keeps me from doing what I want to do?  And what I was reminded of as I tussled with myself on the couch about my inaction — well, I was reminded of expectations.  More often than not, it is what I unrealistically expect of myself at any moment that gets in my way.  My expectations like to make me think that I have somehow failed miserably.  And my expectations gather power as they get wound up in the stories I tell myself about who and what I am and am not.

But, I have also found it to be true that if I am not doing what I want to, I only have myself to consider.  Yet when I look at it deeper, I realize that I often set myself up for heartache because of expectations I set in place before the unexpected happened.  With this realization, I find that the only way past the pain is through it by looking at what expectations are holding me frozen.  Then I do as my daughter reminded me.  Guided by my sense of truth in this moment, I let go of what no longer serves, freeing myself to do what I truthfully know I need to do now.

It’s hard to stay in the flow in the face of the unexpected.  But it makes no sense to try to swim in a dry river bed.  Letting go of what no longer serves helps me to know when to change rivers.

So, what keeps you from doing what you want to do?

In Joy!

Cheryl

Nigiyakana means lively, bustling, noisy, like the busy office or crowded party. There is motion and lots of it in all directions. Voices are eager, emotions are high, and the energy can be intense. So intense that Nigiyakana can sometimes move into overload, a bustling, noisy rattle in your awareness that can be overwhelming. Nigiyakana in my head is not always a good thing. Nigiyakana can be too much, like an eggbeater in my brain where lively may become a deadening mess.

In contrast, I also am intrigued by another word: Shizuka. Shizuka is stillness, quiet, peace. Shizukano tokoro is the quiet place, the point of calm. In my head, Shizuka feels comfortable and safe. Oddly, it is not necessarily a place of no motion. In my head, Shizuka is the point where I can witness the motion of me inside and out. In my head, Shizuka is the opposite of Nigiyakana.

One way of describing life is to acknowledge life’s shift between the bustling, sometimes exciting, sometimes burdensome, motion on the one hand, and moments of tranquility which can witness balance and clarity. Bouncing between a flurry of motion and the calmness of quiet, life can seem to be both distraction and focus, uproar and serenity, trivial and substantial.

Though I tend toward moving away from Nigiyakana whether it is in my environment or just in my head, I have realized that part of this busy motion is a drawing in of an abundance of potential. Nigiyakana is offering me possibility. However, my job is not to figure out all the motion. My job is to learn to focus on what works for me in this moment. My job is to find the point of Shizuka, the point where I can give attention to the one motion needed by me now.

I am deceiving myself if I think that the only place to witness my motion is in the stillness. My challenge is learn to witness all of me in all moments. Learning to witness when there are fewer distractions helps me develop the skill and the awareness to not be so picky on when and where I get who I am in this moment and how I want to live now, in this moment.

Shizuka offers the gift of awareness and Nigiyakana offers the gift of discernment. Both offer me the opportunity to find quiet in the noise and my sound in the stillness. I hear because I can feel in all places the motion of my truth. What I learn in this moment, guides me to my next moment with its infinite and eternal possibility. I hear the mountain and begin my journey.

In Joy!

Cheryl

Fear can guide you to deeper understanding when you allow yourself to listen to Fear’s message.

Fear is a misconception about Truth which can become frozen within.

Fear holds within seeds for release.

Fear holds within you strands of panic and pain.

Fear also holds your truth.

This is the message that awaits you.

The challenge is allowing the message not to be overcome by the surrounding panic and pain.

Pain at its core is a subversion of truth.

Physical pain is held within the body when the body is asked to bear what it should not be required to bear.

Emotional pain arises in the midst of any pain when the heart witnesses what should not be required because it goes against individual truth.

Spiritual Pain arises when the Physical and Spiritual natures are out of balance between them and with Universal Life Force.

Fear thus arises from the occurrence of pain, the knowing and memory of pain, and the deep seated desire to avoid pain.

People though often mistake the way in which to deal with fear and pain as either avoidance or denial.  If x happens when y happens, I will now always avoid x and y.  In the initial moments this may be a very reasonable coping strategy, but over time x and y become frozen within you as arrested potential wanting to become form, festering like a sore one would rather, and usually does, ignore.

Frozen energy will push for release and niggle at the edges of your awareness until you have the courage to listen.

The response to fear is not avoidance or denial, but a gentle attention to fear through these questions:

What will allow me to release the frozen energy within, allowing it to complete its journey of potential to form to potential?

What is my fear’s message for me today?

Listen to the message of fear to find your way through.

Listen to fear’s message to find release from fear’s pain.

Listen to the message to find balance and truth.

In Witness with gentle attention,

Cheryl

PS — As someone who has dealt with crippling amounts of fear built up through too many events no one should bear, I do not speak of fear lightly, like it is something easy to put aside or to deal with simply.  Fear can overwhelm you making it difficult to live life at all.  Like I discuss above, eventually, the way beyond is through, by focusing on the message.  But don’t confuse listening to the message as a requirement to relive the pain.  Sometimes this is necessary, but not always.  And when it is too much to bear alone, find help, find support, someone who will stand witness with you to your message.

Knowing is an inner, individual process which illuminates our darker corners. Knowing is ever evolving — becoming from moment to moment — a new motion within as we live our lives within what we know, do not know, and are yet unable to know.

In this sense the unknowable is that which is just beyond our grasp — that which dances just beyond our field of perception. The unknowable can go unnoticed easily as we go about the day-in and day-out of our lives. Yet the unknowable is also that which beckons, unrecognized, as the motivator of action, of thought, and of feeling.

Sometimes we mistake the unknowable as the dangerous and the chaotic because the unknowable can feel like the waters we dare never enter.

Look around you. Look at the circumstances of your life. Feel into the edges. What is unknowable? What feels like you should not enter? Ask yourself: Why? Ask yourself: Why not enter my unknowable? What will I find? What may I learn to embrace into my Knowing?

Winter is the time we take in each year’s passing to commune with our unknowable. Literally a time of going inside, winter in her barren aspect holds our seeds of knowing.

In this month of two full moons (12/2 & 12/31), the invitation of Winter Solstice from shortening to lengthening, and the many joyous holiday celebrations, I invite you to think a bit on your unknowable, letting the dark unveil your light.

In Joy!
Cheryl